memoirs of a missing ninja
by Yoshino-Uchiha
Summary: this is about one of my favorit naruto role plays... i thought it sounded kinda kool, and its diffrent than what i normaly wright, so i thought id just post it


When I was little, all I ever wanted to do was be with one person... its funny how nothing ever turns out the way we want. Isn t it?  
My name is Hirashima, my older half brother is Takato, and together we murdered over 300 people in one afternoon. Our whole clan.  
I was only 7 when we commented that crime, he was 8... And no one could defeat us.  
When I was 11 we found a small village in the middle of no were. The Kage saw a talent in us that he wanted, and we were trained to use it. And we did. Although the rule for the village was to kill no one unless necessary, we killed for fun. We were good at it.  
Our sensei's name was Kasai tetsujiin, and our other squad member was Haru Yakushi. From the moment I saw Haru, I knew I liked him. Jet black hair, pail white skin, emerald eyes that showed he wasn t necessarily tuned into our reality, but instead, tuned into his own world. A world I wanted to be part of...  
He never really talked much, he observed everything though. He knew more about any one person then they knew about them self. All threw my childhood I vied for his attention, and pushed myself beyond the limits of my body to make him notice me, but he was always 6 steps ahead, I could never catch up to him.  
Takato hated that I hadn t stayed loyal to him... I was supposed to be his companion, his world... and he was supposed to be mine. But he never was. As soon as we moved to this new village, we started to hate each other more and more, to the point that our goals in life were to kill the other.  
When I was 16, Haru left the village to go training. My whole existence ceased to exist. Everything was just a blur. Nothing mattered. Takato hated it even more than when I was aching for Haru's affection. He left the village to join the akatsuki, the worst of the worst. S ranked rogue ninja who were hell bent on ending the world as we knew it. The only one left was Kasai-sensei, who had over the years become my 'father figure', and I had always seen him as just that. My father. His silver hair and bright sunny eyes would always greeted me every day, and his 5 o'clock shadow that was always just that was comforting to me. I never really knew why. He was only 15 years older than me though, and just as immature, if not more so than I ever was. I loved him too. He had become my world in the 3 years that everyone I ever knew was gone. I had made some other friends before hand, but they had all left as well. No one ever stayed around me. All I brought was death. I gave all my affection to my teacher, and shunned everyone else.  
Then... one day... my brother came back to kill me. I would have let him. I was going to let him. But then a man saved me. It happened so quick I hadn t realized who it was at first, but he had defeated my older brother and sent him away with awesome injuries, then came back to me to heal mine. It was only when I saw his eyes that were shaded by raven feathers (his hair) that I realized who the emerald eyes belonged to. None other than Haru Yakushi. I was so happy to see him, but my anger that he had left over powered my love that had once been souly his. I punched him as hard as I could; he let me and acted like it hadn t fazed him. I knew it had because he spit out quite a bit of blood after wards and then said he had missed me. I broke down crying and he held me, comforting me. All my emotions had been locked away... and all it took to release them in an avalanche was a key, a key that only he had.  
Kasai had been there the whole time -he had always let me just get my frustration out and let me make my own decisions, knowing that in the end I would always make the right one and come back to him- had been there the whole time. I knew he had been. I could always feel when he was near. He came up and put a hand on my shoulder like he always did.

Months later, another person had entered my life. I had been humming a lullaby on a slow day, just strolling along the village streets, I had become my normal hyper friendly self again for the most part, but it was just strangers I was cold to now. He had fallowed me into an alley, I had planned to lead my pursuer there and beat him for trying anything, but he just addressed me like I was someone he knew. I didn t know why, but I wanted to know him. He was goofy, and allot like my teacher. He was 18, only a year older than me now. He had befriended me without even trying... so I took him to meet some friends of mine to test him out. They didn t mind him one way or the other, so I assumed he was alright. He didn t like Haru or my other friend I had made, Vai. Actually, Hayato (the pursuer I had befriended) and Vai had almost gotten in a fight. I had intervened and stopped Hayato. I knew Vai would only ever attack after he himself was under attack. He was immature, but not stupid. But later he and Kasai had clashed, severely. Kasai being as skilled as he was got away with no damage at all, never even breaking a sweat, but Hayato had suffered allot of internal damage, and refused to let me heal him, saying that it was all my fault and that he wished he hadn t known I existed.  
How would a bounty hunter and a rogue have ever gotten along any way? That what I thought when I found out that he had left soon after that incident. I was sad, but hadn t really thought much more about it. I had it in my head that I still wanted Haru; I had just figured my intensity about it had died down over the years of absence. But the truth was that he was just a childhood crush. He was still an important friend, as was Kasai and Vai -who had come to wish for my affections- but nothing more. Even if I had yet to realize that.

Another year passed and Hayato Nobuyuki had completely left all of my thoughts... until I was sent on a mission. I was to kill a bounty hunter that had slain many from our village, at the time I had thought it was Takato, since he knew of our secret location. I was soon to find out that it was Hayato. He had trained hard to bring his own vengeance. I only remembered him when I was minutes from death... his amethyst eyes, hazed over with anger and sorrow, wet with tears. He had obviously remembered me when I had forgotten him. He didn t kill me. He hit a pressure point and knocked me unconscious. I wasn t sure how long I was asleep or what happened while I was... all I knew was that I was some were unfamiliar, and was about to correct that fact. When I woke up I jumped right out of the bed I was in and was ready to attack, but there was no one else in the room with me. It was dark... it was in the middle of the night. Perfect for my escape.  
I had gotten to the exit when I heard him ask if I even knew which way was home. I didn t. But I would make due. Then the truly unexpected happened.  
He kissed me.  
Truly, truly unexpected. I was frozen in place, in confusion. The man that had wanted me dead was now kissing me with so much passion I thought I might go unconscious again. He broke the kiss and I was still frozen, then I looked up at him. He held so much sorrow, and I didn t know how all of it could fit in one person, it looked as if it would just start spewing out of him any second the way he was looking at me. I hadn t known it, but he had been in love with me the whole time. I hadn t known it until then at least. I kissed him... and then I realized that I loved him to...  
Isn t it funny how nothing ever turns out the way we expect? 


End file.
